Hey everyone!
Do you often find with today’s busy lifestyle it’s become increasingly difficult to focus on some good quality ‘me-time’ for yourself?
In today’s times, we are so consumed by work l that we often tend to neglect our health and well-being. We tend to lead such a busy and hectic lifestyle that there seems to be no time to do the things that make us happy and keep us sane.
It’s so important to wade through the chaos and carve out some much needed ‘me-time’ for yourself. It not only helps to keep you happy but allows for you to be efficient and schedule things a lot more effectively. It’s very important to cut out the unnecessary noise, chaos and drama so that you can focus on improving your mental and physical health.
So with this in mind, I’m going to share a few pointers that will hopefully help you through..
Cutting negative/toxic people;
I can’t stress enough how important it is to keep a healthy circle of individual’s around you. People who love, respect and uplift you. People who don’t drain you with their negative energy.
To find peace, sometimes you have to be willing to lose your connection with the people, places and things that create all the noise in your life. How very true is this? I’ve really been pondering over this and really for the first time have been putting myself first. It’s all about prioritising yourself. I found I was losing myself as I was constantly trying to please others. I felt exhausted, helpless and stuck. Sometimes, it just takes one incident to change your perspective. I’m so grateful (as unpleasant as it was) it came at the right time.
I recently experienced a very unpleasant confrontation (couple of months ago) by someone. I was completely distraught. It wasn’t the first time this person acted this way but I often would let it go in the past and put it down to the fact that she’s younger, naive and doesn’t really mean it. I had always brushed past any awkwardness previously as not to create a big scene. However, as the years go by and there’s no significant change in personality. There’s only so much a person can take before things become too over-bearing. But when it keeps happening repeatedly, you begin to see a pattern. You realise it’s not you or anyone else but on the contrary a very resentful and a bitter being inside of that person . This person will keep hurting you because they strive to see you and others unhappy. This is the moment where I realised after years of emotional hurt and distress, I wasn’t going to endure it anymore. I completely cut off. I blocked, unfollowed on social media. I deleted numbers. It was a big step especially when it’s an extended family member but I knew I couldn’t put up with this any longer. I needed my sanity. The bottom line is when boundaries are crossed repeatedly, respect is lost, sadly you just have to take drastic measures. You need to give yourself the peace of mind, self-respect and self worth to move on.
My blog is all about positivity and goodness and the reason why I’m sharing this story is that as difficult as it may be, but at times we find that we have no option but to cut ourselves away from toxic people who are nothing but detrimental to our health and well-being. I’ve always been a person who tends to overlook many hurtful things people might have said/done to me but now I’ve come to realise that even if your circle is small, it has to contain beautiful kind souls who matter and that you have a mutual love and respect for. A peace of mind is truly so valuable. I often find these relationships that we hold onto that do more bad than good can really impact us in a negative way. I’d rather focus all my energies on people who are close to my heart. Sometimes letting go is the only way to seek closure. I am so glad I did.
So, if you have such people in your lives then assess the way how you’re being treated by them? Are they nothing but a constant negative energy field around you? I’m not saying you cut ties completely but set your boundaries. It helps you set a space that others have to respect. Feel no guilt in doing so as you and your well-being come first.
Saying ‘No’ when you don’t feel like it;
Ahh this one is quite close to my heart. As you brits will agree, it’s so difficult for us to say no to people right?
This could be in relationships, at work, or any other space. I find we just don’t want to offend people in general. I’ve come to realise with time, that in order to keep sane we really need to work on saying no (politely!).
For example, if you’re tired and can’t go out on a certain weekend, it’s perfectly fine to excuse yourself. If you don’t fancy an after work party, it’s perfectly fine to say you can’t make it. If I could name all the times I wanted to say no but didn’t, I’d be a very rich lady by now.
I think we find saying no can come across as rude but it doesn’t need to be. If you’re genuine with the other person and explain your reasonings, more often than not they totally understand and appreciate it. As a matter of fact, when I would tell my work mates I couldn’t go out for most of the after work parties as I don’t drink, they’d be more than understanding. It’s all about being honest and open.
Don’t feel guilty about making yourself happy;
In today’s times, it’s become so difficult to dedicate any good quality time to ourselves. The hours we have are used up so quickly that we seem to have no time for our sanity. We must learn to pause and take time out to reflect on our lives. Do we need to dedicate more time for our families and friends? Do we need to focus more on our health and well-being? Do we need to shift our energies to things that matter? These are all questions we need to ask ourselves.
The only person who will be with you 24/7 is ‘you’, so make sure that person is positive, happy and optimistic. You deserve it. So go ahead, watch a movie, laze around, procrastinate (nothing wrong with that!), pray, learn a language, take a walk.. the list is endless!
I have always been so blessed and grateful to have had such amazing family and set of friends and most importantly a very caring and thoughtful hubby. After my parents, he’s given me the wings to fly. He’s given me the space to be myself and seek and explore all the things I wanted to. He’s the reason why I am such a confident woman today. Whenever I’m low, he picks me up and teaches me how I can do anything I set my heart on. I am so blessed to have these kind beautiful people in my life. It’s so important to have people who care for you. That’s the reason why I never focus on the little hiccups that come my way, as I know I’m far too blessed to worry about these little things.
I really wanted to let you know that never be disheartened by anyone’s behaviour. Learn to be a strong woman/man of substance as when you shine, no one can dull your light. You’re fearless! I hope through this post, we can all learn to be positive despite all the things life throws at us.
Most importantly, I hope we all learn how important it is to take care of ourselves. Your body, mind and soul needs to be aligned for you to create magic. Go and achieve your dreams. Never shift that focus for anyone. Keep going strong and one day you’ll look back and admire the way you never gave up and how far you’ve come. Here’s to all the warriors out there. You guys rock! 🙌🏼
Until next time,
Sheema xo
sheemazaman 